I wonder..

what this woman says at dinner parties when people ask her what she does for a living.

http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s822336.htm

Sunday Mornings

Once upon a time, May and I shared a magical Sunday morning. Breakfast together, walking to work together in the crisp morning, greeting the foggy headed strollers intent on exercise, and the corny romantic masterstroke- playing the song sunday morning as we did it.

There's a flip-side Sunday to compare now.

But after the near tireless efforts that I put in, I came in at 10am cautious and extraodinarily tired. More dead than alive I was still buoyed by good news for my beloved. A long story short, two people with vastly different personalities clashed, both have astonishingly similar tales of A,B,C,D and the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of hospitality- "affects service". I tried to play the role of mediator and had managed to convince partyA to come to the table, but didn't have the ability to convince partyB to do the same since there were some major trust issues involved.

But on Sunday, I'd persuaded one to talk rather than quit, to reveal her side of the coin and to give our honcho the chance to preside over the issue. Personally I would have preferred a long drawn out mediation and forced them to sort it out. But since that (or a boxing ring) only works on guys, the separation approach was pursued. It's a shame that this had to occur, since originally the three of us were friends and we'd go out for drinks together. Now there are clear lines drawn in the sand and it's up to the other party to show her maturity. I hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel for everybody.

Some days

I have this feeling every now and then, that there's a quiet before the storm, or a fantastic peace before everything goes to shit in my corner of the world. I want to be involved, I want to make everyone work together and make everyone be happy together. But fuck, I need people to bring down their barriers, and be totally truthful with me. I thought that we'd made promises to each other about that. But I was mistaken. That hurts, really hurts. I don't want ulterior motives, I don't want people putting on faces with me. I just want the bare naked truth.

all you can do is think about a person's situation and try and help them.
all you want to do is keep trying to persuade them to hear everything you say
all you want is for both sides to cut each other some slack
all you need is for her to believe in herself and not take the blame for everything
all you have is one table, and the need for all parties involved to step up, sit down and work through issues

Sometimes everyone just needs to get fucking drunk, stoned, wasted next to each other and make a lot of wholehearted confessions and get on with it. Forgive, and makeup. It's something that we tell a lot of kids when they have fights in the playground or in preschool. But we seem to forget that a bit as we grow older. That's super sad, it's not the way things should be.

I got drunk tonight, with friends who are very concerned and it was great. The sad thing is, that's the last memory they will have of me in person because this is the last time they are in Brisbane.

Sometimes...

I wish I could be more supportive.
Be more able to listen to their problems
Be more of a help to someone in physical pain..

I'm getting there slowly, but the caring me is still hidden behind a stubborn unforgiving face sometimes.

It's all a matter of definition.

So today, in a fairly busy period, two girls were complaining that their drink was not made properly (the most widely interpreted drink- the long macchiato). The first girl was demure, but unable to express herself and walked away accepting it. Her friend was aggressive, and very much able to. Sometimes, you find that 45-60 seconds is all it takes to clear up any misconceptions and to clarify an order and to make everyone happy again. Sometimes you find that you don't have the time to. But today, I made the time and made everyone happy. I should really do this more often. :>

Another much older lady, wearing matching purple beret, purple sweater, and purple sunglasses commented that I was very handsome, and asked where I was from. I took in the scene- funky out-there mother and 'long-suffering daughter' in tow. I smiled and said Chinese, and witnessed..

daughter: OMFG MUM YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING!
funkmum: It's not like I'm going to pick him up *smiles at me*
daughter: *walks away pretending not to know her*
me: smiles back-- what was your order again ma'am?

Back to the barista competition

So...

Going back to the Queensland Heats- Anne trounced us. Cara came second by 2-3 points, I came third, and Luke came 4th by about 5points. It was pretty even from 2-4 then, and it was a great time. I can honestly say that I've never had so much fun after the competition with coffee, since the comp injected me with so much enthusiasm. Since that time Anne had been busy with her CoffeeClub National Barista Trainer role, and in between she'd been trying to fit in her competitions practice. Running two grinders, one for her espresso and cappuccino, and one for her own signature blend was a gutsy move and her presentation was fantastic on the day even though she'd dropped a portafilter and also forgot half her lines. But even then, right after that performance I knew that she'd had it. By far it was easily the standard for the day. Surprisingly, in the following weeks Anne had felt that there was resentment from the rest of 'us' in the brissie coffeegeek scene since she'd heard so little from us. However that was far from the truth. For everyone that I've talked to, including her- we've all been totally hammered with work and getting back into the good life as well.

Which leads to--

One of the nice guys of Brisbane coffee, Alen Beganovic. He lent her the keys to his shop to do some after-work competition practice and she managed to fit in two or three shot-trainings with the mazzer minis. The second time around, Matt my housemate and myself were present to try and help her out. Anne was such a bundle of nerves, and really cute. In my eyes, I saw someone with over twice my experience, a much broader coffee perspective, also one of my first coffee mentors and it was really quite humbling for me that she asked for my opinion on things and for me to be able to be there with her supporting her during training.

Anne came 4th in Australia, and according to some reports I've heard she was both happy and sad with it. For someone to come 4th in australia on what's been only their 3rd or 4th comp, it's really quite amazing. Sad maybe because she might not be participating next year due to the heavy workload she will be experiencing. So next year I will be facing her padawan learners. Next year hopefully it will be May and myself leading the cibo charge in Brisbane. :)

Two months of Mayfever and no signs of respite..

So today marked our two month anniversary and we've had some very interesting times so far.
May managed to meet my mum and her partner when she got back from Hong Kong- and she won instant approval with the folks. My mum even suggested that May had better eyes than I. I didn't know how to take that at first. When I was younger, what scared me was how potent my 'phoenix-eyes' have been with every older Hong Kong lady(age 40+) . They'd swarm and ooh and aah and babble a lot of shit for about 5min before dispersing. For mum to pay that compliment, well.... wow. The funny thing is that I just happened to spring that day on May, and she had a panic attack and really, I've never seen anything cuter. I've also never seen anyone pull it off so well. Bravo :)

In the two months that we've been together, there have been some fairly emotional times as well. Let's just say that the family is not supportive, and the ex-boyfriend has been insidious. I've been putting out fires left, right, and centre for the past two months, and it's only now that May is finally starting to build more belief in herself to be able to start shrugging off all the negativity that's around her. The old me of 6 months ago or more would have just said, fuck it. The new me of today says, it's been worth it. Interesting change, but moreso, May really is worth it.

Tonight we shared a very special kiss, the 2month anniversary kiss. I've always considered a kiss to be something special, something important. Until now, with all except one previous girl, I've never actually liked kissing them. Really I'm not a fan of kissing, even on-the-cheek pecking unless I am really familiar with them. That's a bit of an indication of how cold my family was under my father. Now that he's out of the picture and I converse with my mum a bit more, I find we are much warmer as a family. However the damage from that period still remains but I'm not over my kiss-on-the cheek frigidness.